


Birthday Memories

by Nugg



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Even on birthdays, Fluff, M/M, Sad boys will be sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 17:24:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15148145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nugg/pseuds/Nugg
Summary: Maybe reflecting on painful memories couldn't hurt Ryuji anymore if he's in the presence of someone he absolutely adores.Pegoryu Week Prompt Three: Birthday





	Birthday Memories

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHHH HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYUJIIIIIIII

       Ryuji remembered how shitty he felt a year ago. How alone, how broken. Sitting on his bum leg. Moping, skipping school.

          He remembered, and it hurt to do that.

          It would always be painful. The memories were there, and no matter how hard he tried to occupy himself from them, they never went away. He was stuck with them.

          Such a low point in his life couldn't possibly disappear. It was like everytime he'd go quiet, have a chance to think, they sat waiting. Touch starved in a way, that he hadn't thought of them for a while. That he needed to feel bad every so often.

        Really, it was his own fault. He did it all to himself. He ruined his own life, he wreaked everything. And his own mind constantly brought that up.

        He had no right to be sad. It wasn't okay to sulk. But jeez, what was the use of trying back then? What for? To go to school and be ridiculed? To see his former friends with purple skin?

           A year ago, it was his birthday. And, he was misreble. So completely isolated from any other feeling than sorrow.

           That time. He lay in his bed, staring at the blank screen on his television. Hearing every noise for miles with his busy head. He was turning sixteen, and he didn't have anything in him to be happy about it.

        His mom worked. And even with the cupcake she bought from the convenience store, it didn't make it better. He just set it on his bedside table and silently decided he didn't deserve it.

        Of course, he'd eat it. He couldn't ever waste his moms money. He was a greatful son out of anything, and he would feel even worse if he tossed it in the trash.

          A birthday was a special day. But to Ryuji, it was just an unimportant date on the calendar. Something he ignored to push away remembering the shit past.

           That's why he didn't say anything to Akira.

           He wasn't going to say why he didn't celebrate when his boyfriend found out his birthday was close. He shrugged and gave an an excuse. Upset in a way that he had even found out. Confused, but upset over anything else.

          "What do you want to do?" Akira asked him, looking up as he sat in Ryuji's lap the day before. Game controller lazily lying in his hands, eyes so innocent and warming.

             "Nothin'." He threw back. Resting his chin on top of the soft fluffy mess and hoping to fade away in it.

              He moved away hearing the other groan at the loss, and proped himself up on one arm. Giving a look of annoyance, "Don't give me that. I want to make this nice for you."

              "You really don't hafta," Ryuji shook his head, thin smile showing nothing but discontent, "I never really liked doin' stuff, just chillin', ya know?"

          Looking twords the ground, Akira nodded, "Okay. We can do that. Want me to spend the night?"

          Bringing his phone up, the late time gave the answer, "Gonna have to. Trains stopped runnin'."

           It wasn't even that far away from being midnight. He'd be seventeen soon. He'd be one year older and one more year away from all that pain.

           Within reach of the person he loved made it different. Better, really. Because if any wrong memories tried to come back, his boyfriend would be there to close the floodgates. To take away the silence of sadness and replace it with light conversations and small, comforting touches.

          Last year, he was alone. And now, he was able to hold on to something that fixed his life. The first person to give him a chance after all the shit he went through. His best friend that ignored his shaky past, and only focused on the now.

          He'd zoned off. Not noticing the date change. And not feeling the presence of another leave. He leaned against the side of his bed in realization of the empty room.

          It was moments later when Akira returned. Devious look, hands behind his back. Ryuji still spacing out. Still thinking deeply about everything.

          Although he did perk up when his boyfriend sat in front of him. Legs crossed, arms still folded behind him. It didn't dawn on him that the other guy had been acting suspicious. Because he was frankly basking in how nice looking he was.

      "It's officially July 3rd." He leaned in as he talked.

       Nodding, Ryuji let out a small laugh, "Yeah. It is huh?"

       Suddenly, Akira raised whatever he held on his back high in the air. Causing the blond to look up and see his celing light catch through the plastic. He had a few guesses. The container really gave most of it away.

       Bringing it down and into his lap, the over excited guy bounced in anticipation. Watching as his boyfriend adjusted his gaze to the contents. He could've exploded with pride at that moment.

       It was a small cake. Chocolate. Yellow frosting. Orange sprinkes, and very rough piping of, 'Happy Birthday Ryu' written in red. Quiet, he could feel the eyes of the obvious baker waiting for a reaction.

       Moving his head up, he saw his marvelous significant other with his hands clasped together over his mouth. Hiding such a twisted grin. So triumphant in his work.

      "It's adorable. Tha- thank you." Ryuji stuttered, trying his best to keep himself composed. To not burst out in unexpected emotions.

      Biting his bottom lip, Akira pointed at the lettering, "Sorry the words are all janky. It's not all that big. But I thought you'd like it."

        Reaching forward, he pecked his boyfriend on the lips. Still keeping his inside thoughts to himself. Still attempting to hide his festering feelings. So, absolutely in love.

      Pressing a hand to his cheek, running his thumb back and fourth beneath his glasses, the birthday boy was more than appreciative, "I do. I really like it..."

      Before he took his hand away, something was pressed into his palm. Closing his fingers around the object, he raised a brow, looking back to the still smug looking guy in front of him. Shaking his head and laughing to himself at how ridiculous he could be sometimes.

       It was a folded peice of paper. And he couldn't help but to crinkle up his face in confusion. Watching Akira tilt back, clacking his feet together in anticipation.

      Once opened, he read the words carefully. Shocked, and so, so greatful. Nothing could even come out of his mouth.

      "I picked up some extra shifts and saved up to buy you that one manga series you wanted." He explained, "They should be coming in the mail soon!"

       "Holy shit. You didn't need to do that at all." Ryuji stared at the order slip in his hands like it was magical.

       Shrugging, Akira set the cake aside, moving forward to close the space with another kiss. Hand still on his shoulder when he pulled away, "Shush. It's your birthday. And you're my boyfriend. I couldn't- _not_ get you something."

      "I- I don't deserve it." He felt immediately that the way he said it was so dumb. So revealing.

       He scrunched his brows together, "You totally do."

       It was quiet again.

       Normally he'd try and push it away. But the memories of the prior year came back. Flowed in endlessly to his head and filled him with dispair.

       Alone. He felt so alone. Even if the love of his life sat nearby, sat without words. He was by himself in this. Nobody could read his mind and figure out what a mess it was. And even if they did, they'd probably run away at its contents.

      Such a small, kind gesture put him back and he hated it. He wanted to enjoy the present. He wanted to tackle his boyfriend and be in his embrace until the sun rose. But he couldn't.

      When a tear blurred the ink on the paper, Akira opened his mouth a bit. The blond couldn't bother trying to guess if it was fear or confusion. He was too busy trying frantically to wipe away the salty water.

       "Ryu, what- did I say something?" He leaned closer, tilting his head to see the crying boys face.

      He bunched up his shirt and dried his cheeks, "No!- no. I just- I just. This is... I keep thinkin' about my last birthday."

     Finally. Like some crushing force had been lifted, he got it out. Said it loud so the world, _his world_ , could hear. And maybe he regretted it, but hell, it felt amazing.

      Tears still falling, he sniffled, "I was in such a bad place man. I was so sad all the time. Ruined. And now you're here and-"

      "Eff man, you make my life so much better. Forget any presents. Havin' you is the best thing I ever got." He ignored mushy he was being and looked up through his gross sobs.

      Arms quickly wrapped around him and he let it out even more. Falling back and letting himself wail. Not caring about his volume. Not giving two shits.

       Hiccuping through his laughs, he buried his face in the scent. Suffocating himself in Akiras shoulder. Disregarding the thought of soaking his shirt.

       Fingers danced elegantly in his straw-like hair, hitting every spot just right. He continued to release a years worth of built up emotions. Still crying. Like every tear took away a memory.

        Something so much as a cake and a peice of paper could put him in this state. And he was glad. Happy to be able to finally let go of the past with someone he trusted.

      The first person who genuinely loved him. Who showed compassion. Who comforted him when his head got to busy and he got lost inside.

       And, he couldn't have ever asked for a better birthday.

       Shitty emotions and all.

 

 

       

 

**Author's Note:**

> Make sure yall go send some love to all the other authors blessing you with content alright!?
> 
> Like, hell yeah bless me with your comments, but them to!!


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